...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
