On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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