did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize