Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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