Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
