Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
