i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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