She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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