i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize