hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
