dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
foreskin is a definite game changer
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
