The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
