We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
