Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
