Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
