why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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