hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
