she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
