I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we made out on top of his cat.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
