I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
