ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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