They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize