Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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