apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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