my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
