I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
