somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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