It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
