Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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