My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
