did you get engaged???
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
