Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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