I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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