just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
