If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
