I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize