i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
