you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
