Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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