I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
