yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
