(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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