wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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