I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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