can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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