I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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