even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
