please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
