Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
