my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
