You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize