Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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