i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I showed him my bush... on skype.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
