Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
