Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
