Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
