my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
