I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
