you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Let's get the cat blown out
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
