Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize