So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
